i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
