i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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