I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I puked a lego.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize