My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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