Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
