I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize