Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
