what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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