the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
