around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
