K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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