I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
