Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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