so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
This is the prime rib incident all over again
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
