Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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