Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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