I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
