I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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