You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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