I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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