HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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