if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
