Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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