ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
