Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(

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(913): View more from Kansas

he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever

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(408): View more from California

just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious

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(315): View more from New York

Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward

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(406): View more from Montana

I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...

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(636): View more from Missouri

You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.

(314): View more from Missouri

You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.

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(303): View more from Colorado

pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.

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