I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel