I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
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Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Dick very happy bro
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!