Texts From Last Night

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  (424): View more from California

  The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.

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  (424): The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration. http://tfl.nu/aroj
  Replies (6) Good night (803) Bad night (1559)
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  (716): View more from New York

  there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one

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  (716): there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one http://tfl.nu/1wzf
  Replies (3) Good night (1429) Bad night (461)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out

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  (732): feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out http://tfl.nu/y0cc
  Replies (22) Good night (4651) Bad night (1485)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??

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  (931): How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"?? http://tfl.nu/pyr1
  Replies (11) Good night (2943) Bad night (1122)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  please don't let me die tonight

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  what have you done for me lately?

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  (203): please don't let me die tonight (860): what have you done for me lately? http://tfl.nu/9vcn
  Replies (18) Good night (4860) Bad night (1257)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.

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  (289): I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone. http://tfl.nu/rtzl
  Replies (13) Good night (2406) Bad night (3966)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success

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  (978): Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success http://tfl.nu/y2pz
  Replies (7) Good night (4110) Bad night (857)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur

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  (817): he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur http://tfl.nu/33k4
  Replies (42) Good night (2064) Bad night (7941)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried

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  (405): He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried http://tfl.nu/s324
  Replies (11) Good night (1408) Bad night (1588)
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  (858): View more from California

  No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.

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  (858): No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter. http://tfl.nu/lm85
  Replies (17) Good night (3232) Bad night (911)
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  (209): View more from California

  We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.

  (1-209): View more from California

  Duh.

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  (209): We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up. (1-209): Duh. http://tfl.nu/z6sv
  Replies (5) Good night (2050) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.

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  (914): We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not. http://tfl.nu/467u
  Replies (15) Good night (657) Bad night (1524)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.

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  (914): Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73. http://tfl.nu/mdyq
  Replies (14) Good night (2710) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.

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  (330): I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night. http://tfl.nu/a30e
  Replies (0) Good night (794) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.

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  (276): My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today. http://tfl.nu/q8u1
  Replies (9) Good night (691) Bad night (258)

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