Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

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  (205): Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle. http://tfl.nu/4ixk
  Replies (16) Good night (585) Bad night (1419)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg

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  (508): he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg http://tfl.nu/z4cs
  Replies (5) Good night (587) Bad night (2783)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.

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  (956): And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice. http://tfl.nu/wqun
  Replies (43) Good night (846) Bad night (3397)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.

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  (734): going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season. http://tfl.nu/7bt6
  Replies (12) Good night (3353) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl

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  (914): im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl http://tfl.nu/i1d7
  Replies (15) Good night (912) Bad night (5025)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time

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  (570): she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time http://tfl.nu/kzmt
  Replies (11) Good night (3403) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life

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  (443): She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life http://tfl.nu/dd6j
  Replies (16) Good night (4688) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.

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  (708): Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success. http://tfl.nu/6b9r
  Replies (12) Good night (2471) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...

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  (707): Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost... http://tfl.nu/dlrx
  Replies (1) Good night (1029) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  whose ass print is on the piano?

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  (818): whose ass print is on the piano? http://tfl.nu/s2mm
  Replies (9) Good night (1443) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.

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  (785): well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo. http://tfl.nu/3cg7
  Replies (2) Good night (830) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."

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  (916): You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths." http://tfl.nu/4apx
  Replies (6) Good night (920) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.

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  (971): Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love. http://tfl.nu/5pup
  Replies (6) Good night (954) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ

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  (443): Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ http://tfl.nu/d2b1
  Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....

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  (720): He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ.... http://tfl.nu/i5f3
  Replies (2) Good night (515) Bad night (792)

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