There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.