I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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