But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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