After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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