i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize