Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
