last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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