I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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