Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
