It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize