what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
