I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
