Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
