So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
