You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
