You just made me feel so damn special
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
