dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
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