I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
