if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize