Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
There's always time for handjobs
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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