I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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