Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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