He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
