did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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