party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
