haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
