I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
