would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
