Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
