How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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