Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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