my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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