What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
