Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
