Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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